Well, Rich has been struck off my list. I don't care if he is interested or not. I saw him out on Saturday night and after a greeting kiss and hug it was if he spent the rest of the night avoiding me. I know he pops anything he can get his hands on so a night out isnt the best time to assess him but I havent got the patience to wait for him to decide what he wants. He also spent a lot of time with some skinny blonde thing.

Although, me moaning about his behaviour.... Its not like he's almost slept with one of my friends.
Can't really hold him avoiding me against him I guess...

Realising this has however brought me back to the fact that I try to hide so much.
Its damn lonely being single.
I have a lot of friends and I love them to bits but most are in relationships. Dee is single and we have fun being single girls but I really want someone who can come round and have a night in together and when we're out we can meet up towards the end of the night.
I want someone to get kisses and cuddles from, someone to text me nice things. Someone who makes me feel like I'm not a total man repellant and that I am appealing as more than a friend.
I want affection!

The really sad thing is that Hands really did make me feel amazing, not just in a sexual way. He was attentive to me all night, even before we went back to his, he seemed genuinly concerned that I was ok. When we were sleeping he wrapped himself around me and held me in that lovely way that makes you feel safe and protected. I've not had that in so long. Hands made me feel attractive and worth caring about.
I reckon when he's back from australia he'll be uninterested, I know it was more likely just a one night thing and I shouldnt dwell on it but I cant help it. He reminded me what I want. And what, no matter how hard I try, I cant get.
It really is lonely being single.