He text me the second I saved that!!!

Here's what he said:

I'll be honest hun I'm not looking for anything more and because I do really like you... And I mean that... Maybe we should just be friends... I fancy you and think your sexy but with work (his job is stressful), the little one (he has a 4 year old daughter) and other bits... I'm just too selfish with my time!... Hope you still love me!? Ha x

WHAT THE HELL IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN! I see the nice way of saying no in there but if he fancies me, thinks I'm sexy and really likes me what the hell is the problem?! I'm not asking to spend every day with him!!!
HELP!!!!

Why is it when you get drunk you send stupid texts to the guy you like?! Or rather, why do I send stupid texts?!!

Went out with Dee last night, saw one of my new clients who I'd 'happened' to mention to during the day where I was going. Not actually thinking he would go! Well he did, got talking to him, he is seriously cute, loaded and a really nice guy. So we exchanged numbers and he text me almost straight away asking if he could take me out. I'm not actually sure if I'm allowed to, work sort of issues could arise... Mentioned it to Abby, who I work with and she didnt know either... Both going to have a think about it and I'm going to check my contract and see. Its really wierd having to think about all eventualities before the first date, you dont know how things may turn out, all bases need to be covered! Its hard work!!!

Anyway, onto the drunk texts. I saw bedboy last night, y'no the one I cant read the signals on? Well, he'd already emailed me and said he was having a night in as so when I saw him he said he caved into the boys! Well, guess we've all done it! That wasnt the problem, it was the girl he was stood with. Not generally being a jealous sort of person I got the hump, not just because of the girl but the fact he looked me up and down (not sure if it was in an appreciative way or not), spoke to me for a very short time, to tell me he had a meeting with the boss in the morning then wandered off with said girl. I was not impressed.
I decided to ignore him and anyway found the client guy entertaining enough!

The drink I was supping at told me to text him, so I did. Just calling him weak for caving in to going out. He text back protesting so I then replied with, "You could prove it by finding me instead of staying with that girl". Yes, stupid I know. He explained that she was an old school friend and they had never even kissed.

I had gone home by this point and fallen asleep so I didnt reply. Found the text an hour later and another saying "Oi, I'm talking to you!" So I told him I'd fallen asleep then drunkanly proclaimed that I was interested in him for more than sex. He replyed saying that he would be with me now if he could. I said that didnt answer my question so he replyed saying he hadnt realised I wanted more.

Obviously still not answering properly.

I then sent a load of drunkan ramble saying I did want him for more and could he let me know what it was he wanted before he could blow me out in a club again.
Needless today I didnt get a reply...

I sent him a message this morning saying I realised the texts sounded grumpier than I meant them to and that I should have slipped a cheeky ;-) in there somewhere, told him I hoped his meeting went ok and would be nice to hear from him soon.

No reply as yet...Think I may have blown it before anything even happens...

D'ya know I've complained something chronic about having no men around and when they do arrive I abuse the one I like when I'm drunk, meet another I may get sacked for, crazy guy who stroked me on the first date and the guy I had a drunkan night with who wont leave me alone!

I wonder if its simpler to not bother with men sometimes...!

Oh if anyone reads this before tonight, I'm wondering if I should text him to see if he fancies joining me at my friends house warming party tonight. See if I can show him I'm not about to boil his bunnies...

Well today is one of those days where I would like to wander around and swear at everything.
Mum wound me up this morning with one of her regular moans about god knows what, then work today was boring and I made a cock up that I shouldnt really have done, then I had a shockingly bad driving lesson where I reverted to taking corners in 3rd gear, forgetting to indicate and I screwed up my reverse around a corner so much I refused to attempt it again and started to drive home. Then I got home  to the dictatorship (my mother) and when I attempted to hang shelves in my room she told me I couldn't do it as she decided where things went because it was her house. I reminded her that I bought the shelves weeks ago and if she was that bothered she would have helped me then. She said she would buy me a bookcase and I reminded her that if I waited for her to buy me anything I would still be sleeping on a mattress on the floor waiting for the bed she was going to buy me.
Major case of it you want a job doing properly, do it yourself. As it was the drill I had borrowed from work was harder to use then it looked and I couldnt get the raw plug into the wall far enough no matter how far I drilled the hole.

Grrrr annoying!

To top all this off I have fallen for the classic woman's mistake. Sleep with a guy on a no strings basis then fall for him.
Stupid!
Ok, so a guy I know who I slept with last year at some point has been emailing me. When we slept together last time it was just a case of meeting up for the sex, although we do get on very well as friends. Well the emails have been arriving and I have been replying, fully aware of the fact we were heading straight to another session. What I haven't yet mentioned is that we had THE best sex I have ever had and he has also, on various occasions agreed with just how good it was. We broke my bed beyond repair, thats how good it was.
So, we arrange to meet on friday and it turns out that my house was going to be full and his flatmate had his family round, plan went to pot. I then text him and asked if he fancied coming round for a bottle of wine, that was all that was mentioned as we both knew there was going to be no privacy. So he came round, we sat in the kitchen with big sis and had a pleasant evening. He kept kissing me whenever he could and was touching my hair and my leg. All the signs where there. I told him I had a new bed that I had built myself, (cue him laughing at what he thought was a chat up line!) so we went up to my room and he snogged my face off.

Chemistry was rocking.

We ran off to his house, as we expected his flatmate's family to have left. Luckily they had. The rest I'm sure you can assume perfectly well.

Afterwards he lent me a t-shirt and we messed around on the internet, flicked through the tv and ate crisps. Then went went to bed. To sleep.

Right, so this all suggests at friends sleeping together, yes? Well, the things that have made me think otherwise is that I mentioned to him about my friends upcoming wedding and that the room cost £100, he said he would come as my date and pay for the room. I told him it was in October, to which he replied, "Yes, that ok, I'll still be around"

Next point. When I mentioned that I wanted to go away for my birthday but that it was unlikely to happen, he said "You never know what is around the corner. Someone may whisk you away"

Does this sound like he wants more than just the sex?

On Saturday night, I drunkardly text him, repeatedly as we had agreed that we would meet up for more of the same. He seemed keen but as we were both very very drunk we didnt meet up. I text him on sunday asking how he felt, got a reply and nothing further as to me asking what his plans were for the day.

My email I sent asking if he had recovered yesterday was responded to briefly with no other reply.....

Hmmm, reading this back to myself I realise I have totally stalked him! Maybe I should leave him alone for a day or so.....

Yes, so I'll leave him alone until say Thursday. Then ask him if he would like to meet for a drink soon. then see how he replies to that.

Big sis thinks he seemed interested but then men can sometimes deliberatly give off the signals just so they get the sex.

God knows....

Anyway, as it is probably very clear, todays blog has just been a rant, a way to get things off my chest. Thanks for listening. If you even got this far...

Oh, before I forget. Still no period. Going to go to the doctors soon just to double check...

And I told the guy that may be responsible that he was rubbish in bed and that he really needed to take his head out his ass and grow up.

Long story so I'll tell you another time!

Ta ta! I'm going to go read my book to destress xx